TOOTHFAIRY PRESSURE

It happened this morning at 11:25. Jack and I were driving back from getting my haircut. It had been loose for weeks. We even brought it up for a little bit of one of the Minneapolis shows because I heard so many varied opinions from parents on what the going toothfairy rate is for the first tooth. Anyway, we're driving down Woodward when he says, "Daddy it's coming out! What do I do?" I pulled over into a parking lot and before I could park I hear "I got it! I got it!" I get out of my car and open his door and there in his little fingers is the even littler tooth, a very tiny hole in the bottom roots, a very small spot of red within the hole. So cool. I was more excited than he was. I don't have a job, the house is in the middle of short sale, everything's screwed up right now, and I stood there talking to him about it feeling like the luckiest guy in the world. These were the moments I didn't want to miss.

Now of course comes the moment I'm dreading. I have a 5 dollar bill (screeching tires sound effect) okay, before I go on let's get this out of the way. Stop yelling at me. Yes, I picked 5 dollars as the amount for the first tooth. Some are yelling at me that's way too much. A few saying they'd have done 10. Mostly though I've been chastised by my friends saying I should've done 3. Look, here's the thing. This last year's been hell. I'm not going to go into the nuances of the divorce and all that happened, but the kids have been through a rough time. I've always been there for them, every night, but still so many changes have happened and especially the last few weeks the three of us are adjusting to a new life. He's still only 5 and I want him to believe in magic. He needs to believe in magic right now. So it's a 5 dollar bill, wrapped in a tight roll, with a little curly red ribbon tying it shut. Now back to the moment I'm dreading. It's 10:30. He's asleep. The tooth is dead center under his pillow. Suddenly I'm a fairy. Never been a fairy before. (Watch it!) So I have to creep in there, and make the switch. He's not a heavy sleeper. I have to probably move a hand, possibly move the head, get that tooth out, get that bill in, without waking him up. If he wakes up I have to make sure he doesn't see what's in my hand and be ready with the cover story that I'm just checking on him. My son's like me though, somewhat of a cynic. If he catches on to this, my fatherly paranoia sees the great domino collapse of the Easter Bunny gone, Santa Claus shattered, boom boom boom. Stupid? Silly? You bet. Will I wake him up? Almost surely not. It's just that we've got so little right now, I just need him to believe in this. And I guess truth be told, right now I need to believe in magic too.

So that's it. I'm goin' in! LOL